“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.” ~Vincent Van Gogh
“I’m going to feed the seagulls,” I whispered to the occupant of the bottom bunk, startling her from a deep sleep.
“Sorry,” she said, which was my queue to slink back out of the room and to let the sleepers enjoy a few more hours of quiet before everyone woke up. She’d been game for the adventure days earlier.
It was 5am, raining and very black outside.
I remembered as I buckled my seatbelt that the sun wouldn’t be up ’til about 6:30. But I was committed, so I started the car.
As I made my way down the road I thought, “Do seagulls eat before sunrise? Will they see me? What am I doing?”
Some things don’t make sense.
Such is my life, I live most of it figuratively and literally in the dark.
But I always act in the light of faith. I believe in living whether I understand, know for sure, or think I’m safe or right, considering how my actions affect other people, of course.
Last night I listened to a conversation about college math and another about relationships- how it was wonderful when it all came together in your brain and made sense. Until then it was no fun, and the void of understanding was filled with game-playing, practice, failure, and a lot of pain- some of it inflicted on purpose.
As I drove I contemplated the light from stars that travel for millions of years to finally be seen by us in the present.
Their journey is in the dark, not knowing for sure their destination or the blessing they’ll be for anyone or whose path they’ll light.
Can you imagine if they waited to know for sure before they shined?
What about you? Are you waiting for signs and wonders before stepping out into your life? Are you waiting for things to make sense?
Me? I finally got to the beach even though my gas gauge read “empty.”
There were no seagulls, but I scattered my bread crumbs anyways.
They’d be around later.
It would have been nice to see them swooping and racing to get a morsel of bread. But I’d come when I could and given the gift that I had to give.
Sometimes I think we think too much and act too little.
Why are people like that?