What If Today…You Did Your Part?



I had a thought I wanted to share.

Guess what it was about?


Guess what I set in motion with that thought?

A bunch of complaints.

I’d started to write, had to leave what I was working on to do early morning driving, start some chores and get kids up and ready for school.

Then everything fell apart.

I got derailed emotionally because there was too much to fix and none of it had anything to do with me except that in the end it had everything to do with me and my leadership at home.

So here’s my new thought:

Instead of berating yourself for getting derailed, why not look at how important it is to teach those that you lead to do their part – to function as a whole?


“Is she ALWAYS like that?”

Always like what? I hadn’t done anything but ask someone to do his part – something he’d agreed to do.

What was “THAT?”

Direct? Clear? Bossy? Intimidating?

I was perplexed. I crawled back into my rabbit hole and reviewed the past hour.

I was called in as a support to a woman who was having some problems with an organization she was leading. She explained her predicament and admitted that she didn’t know what to do.

I asked her who had the authority to help her. Lo and behold, the man whose help she needed was walking by.

I called him into our meeting, and asked if he could do X, Y, and Z  for her, and when?

He wrote some things down, grinned, and said, “Sure.”

Easy enough. Right?

Then why pull my friend aside and ask, “Is Betsy always like that?”

Could it be that people don’t like being exposed? Was I out of line for asking him to do his job?

That experience has stuck with me for years. I pondered it on my drive this morning…before everything went nuts in my house.

I can put the pieces together now – the leadership pieces.

I might feel like I can do it all. I might even look like I can do it all. I may even like  to do it all.

But that’s not my job.

My job is to do my part.

As a mom that means training people to do theirs.

As an employee it means asking for help from the higher-ups in the chain of command sometimes so that I can do my job better.

It’s also to take a step back when everything gets derailed and see where the problems are,  getting things back in working order as quickly as possible.

Easier to do with a train than people, but just as important.

Gotta run. Hope you can fill in the blanks for me. I’m sure that there are many!



9 thoughts on “What If Today…You Did Your Part?

    • Seems so, but it didn’t go over well that time! It varies from person to person. The older I get (that one situation occurred about 8 years ago) the more I see that I can’t predict how people will be. Even if I’m kind, ask a lot of questions, and conclude that I understand…there are people whom I will rub the wrong way!

  1. Hi Betsy, It’s fair but it’s not realistic…sadly! There are people who are all in, reliable, and then there’s the rest of the world. The thing is, even if you’re totally right and they absolutely should do their part, there are people who will complain about it or get snarky. Our job is to decide how we are going to feel about that. The more reliable you are and the more logical it is that they should be too but aren’t…well, some of us can really let it get to us when we’re unfairly criticized or it will sit in our crawl (for years, sometimes!) The only thing we can do is set it to rights in our own minds and realize it is not our problem unless we let it bother us.

  2. With many children, all with different temperaments, I know exactly what you mean. It wouldn’t matter what I asked or how I asked, unless I was offering money or prizes, there’s the chance I’d get a less than desireable response. So, maybe some of us never grow up? LOL!

  3. Betsy.
    I still (yes, STILL) maintain ya ought to be just dandy AND permitted…. to beat ’em with a stick.
    But I know (yes, yes) that isn’t how our grown up lives work, as Moms and as Professionals. And it isn’t always the children that expect (yes, expect) a prize for “doing their part/job.”
    Hang tough. It is kind of nice to hear (today especially) that other people’s children don’t always toe the line or hold up their end… Makes me smile and take a breath (before I do something traumatic to us all!) and be able to remember that this is my role as Mom and leader- to be able to rope them all back in and get us back on track, working together.
    I didn’t see any blanks, just a ray of light at the end of the tunnel, friend of mine. Thanks.

  4. Glad the beach walk worked Betsy … My chickadees are all grown now and have littlies of their own. After lots of “grinding of the teeth”, my best strategy was probably a quote stuck on the cupboard above my desk in my workspace for all types of work… (in the kitchen 😉
    The sign read, “A mother is not some-one to lean on but some-one who makes leaning on unnecesssary” so… when things weren’t working for them ‘cos they hadn’t done their “bit”, I’d simply point to the sign and walk away. HA HA HA!!! Worked for me and worked for them… long term 😀 The workplace was a whole different story and I choose not to got there … 😦 Cheerio, for now.

      • Whooo Hooo!!! … My grown up chickadees, who are now parent’s themselves, love to say “… as my mum always says a bit of healthy neglect goes a l-o-n-g way”. That sure was a HUGE surprise… I’m lovin’ it and they are all “doing good”, so reckon I must have done something right 😀

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