“The ineffable joy of forgiving and being forgiven forms an ecstasy that might well arouse the envy of the gods.” ~Elbert Hubbart
When I think of forgiveness I think of children. Young children. When their feelings are hurt, especially by a parent, they automatically run towards the offender, hungry for a hug and re-connection. They instinctively want to shift the energy and imbalance created by fear and anger back to love.
Then the veil of innocence gets thicker. They know too much, and become aware of other people and the hurt that can be inflicted in a way they hadn’t before.
The struggle to avoid pain shows up as a reluctance to re-connect until.
Until they are heard.
Until they are understood.
Until we feel the depth of their pain.
Until they feel safe.
Until they believe someone is really sorry.
Until they feel in control again.
But until never comes. It waits. And it spends our moments for us.
Until is like a doorknob to our hearts. We decide when to turn it and to experience love completely, with no strings of control or promises that hurt won’t show up again at our doorstep.
Forgiveness to me is like stepping back into life because it’s here to be lived now no matter what the risk. It has nothing to do with the other person. It has everything to do with the degree to which the world will be exposed to your radiance.
It really is simple and simply beautiful. Isn’t it? And that’s what some of us find so difficult.
Because we know too much. We think too much.
Our hearts want that hug- that re-connect, that smile and joy in the moment. But we might be addicted to hurt and don’t like the thought that it’s possible that we’ll never be understood. We want the depth of our pain and suffering to be felt by the world so that “it” won’t happen again.
But life is full of joy and pain, none of which is predictable unless and until we choose to live fully with that understanding. We will hurt and be hurt.
Maybe today we could be more like a child and notice how much better it feels to live and love than to close our hearts until….
“One forgives to the degree that one loves.” ~Francois de La Rochefoucauld