What If Today…Your Heartstrings Hurt?

“Where there is love there is life.”~ Mahatma Gandhi

Being human means you’re born, you live, you die.

Along the way we create love connections that make the leaving painful.

And that’s how it should be.

The greater and deeper the connection, the greater and deeper the pain. That’s what I tell my kids, and that’s what I remind myself of often.

Deep and lasting pain is a heartstring stretched. It may feel like it’s breaking. But it’s just a joyful reminder of a relationship that has its ties to both worlds, which is really just one with a hazy, growing  forgetfulness in the middle.

For as long as I can remember I’ve felt those connections deeply with people.

I don’t have a problem with or fear of death. I never have.

I continue to connect daily with those who have passed on, crossed over….died. And when I do, I cry, I laugh, and I smile.

I remember. And it hurts – the good kind of hurt. It’s good because it reminds me that I’m a human being with feelings – a heart.

Mother Theresa says it well:

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only love.”

May you love until it hurts…the good kind of hurt. 🙂


12 thoughts on “What If Today…Your Heartstrings Hurt?

  1. Simply reading your words here, Betsy, could help someone put that pain away and revel in the love that they feel… so thank you, for putting it into words. Reminding us that we really are whole, by loving.

    • I hope so, Amber. I just can’t escape the fact that death is a part of life that has so much to teach us. nd I really don’t believe that it’s supposed to hurt us, but to help us.

  2. If I”m correct, you’re referring to mostly the process of grieving. At least after going through THAT process twice in the last 8 years, it’s what I read into it. A strange process grief is, and everyone does it different but yet the same in some ways. It sure hits you at times when you don’t expect it..sticks around for a bit and then it’s onward until the next time. In my experience time does heal and makes the “hits” more pleasant memories than feeling of loss, but this also applies me thinks to anything that makes ones ” Heartstrings Hurt.”

    As Always ~*~

    • Grieving is a strange animal! Once experienced it can make one wonder if they can go through it again, or even want to give all of themselves to someone knowing how hard it will be to say goodbye. But the alternative is…unthinkable. So instead of looking it as hurt and suffering I tend to concentrate on the magnitude of the deep feelings that cause one to grieve so profoundly. It becomes more of a celebration even though you’re still crying all the time and unable to cope once in a while. You know? Twice in 8 years is a lot! I think your joy mirrors those experiences in a way. You just emanate joy, Ann!

  3. I’ve had the great opportunity to connect with my (adopted) daughter’s little brother (1 yr old) and his foster family during his transition from this life as he suffers from heart failure. At times I’ve questioned why I would get involved with such a tragedy, but it has brought me tremendous growth opportunities, and my children as well, as we support him and his family until the end. It is sometimes sad, but we have all shared many more laughs than tears – it’s an amazing thing. Thanks for your article, I truly connected.

    • Becky, you reminded me of something that I’d forgotten. For years I’ve struggled with the desire to care for foster children and haven’t for two reasons. The first is easier to fix than the second. We’ve moved a lot and that might disqualify us if that trend continues. But the hard one, the one I dread admitting, is that I’m more selfish than loving…I know I’d get so attached to the children and I don’t know if I could bear saying goodbye over and over again. I’m so glad you came and talked to me and shared what you’re doing. Perhaps it’s time for me to follow my own “advice”? Thank you, Becky. I know you’ll be strengthened through his suffering, etc. And your experience has rippled out to strengthen me, too!

  4. Pingback: Beauty, come and get some | The unofficial blog of Stan Faryna

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