You know those moments where you feel so grateful for another chance? When you see two possible outcomes and you breathe a sigh of relief that you were blessed with the “good one”? When in one second your world could unexpectedly turn upside down, but instead you are woken up to the simple beauties of life and have another chance to enjoy them?
He’s only seven-years-old, thin, and wiry. Moments before he was running around the living room, teasing his little brother and begging to stay up longer. But, I sent them both to bed and was ready to chase the younger one up the stairs from across the room when Kenney came tumbling down from the top stair, skidding head down on his neck, landing hard and fast at the bottom. I was so scared. I’ve seen a lot of falls, but this one was different. It touched a place in my heart where childhood lives.
I held him as he whimpered in my arms, both of us hanging on and hoping for the best. He was fine. He got a huge rug burn and wound on his neck, and a few bruises. But he was going to heal. I wrapped him up and kissed him goodnight a few minutes later as he lay his head down on the couch in my room – a treat for him. I wanted him close to me.
I lay in bed thinking about how life changes so quickly. People can be taken or choose to leave your life so suddenly, so unexpectedly. It’s up to us to accept that and to live accordingly. I’ve always believed in valuing the people who willingly show up in my life and giving my best to them. But I don’t always give them what they need. Sometimes I’m tired and spent. Sometimes I’m selfish and hoard my light and goodness. I tuck myself away, saving up for that rainy day that’s somewhere in the future. I convince myself that I’ll need my energy for that day.
I save and save and save, adding to the account labeled “All of Me.”
And then Kenney falls down the stairs. “Insufficient funds.” The account is closed. My heart tells me that the deposits disappeared as soon as I had made them. They were only available in the moment that I had them. Memories were the only deposits that were ever accepted. They are the only things I’d ever be able to withdraw.
So…Kenney slept on my couch. When he came down the stairs in the morning I told him, “No school for you today.” He smiled. He spent the day outside, walking with me to the pond, watching James run in and out of the cold water, climbing trees, riding bikes, digging holes, and taking naps. We slowed down. I really looked at him and listened to his laugh. I threw the ball to his waiting bat and teased him when he missed and cheered when he slammed the ball into the trees. We had fun.
It was a day to remember. I am a wealthy woman.