Why We Need Each Other

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.  “Pooh!” he whispered.  “Yes, Piglet?”  “Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw.  “I just wanted to be sure of you.”  ~A.A. Milne

I waited, thinking I knew what he was going to say. We’d only been talking for five minutes and knew very little about each other. But as soon as he knew I had children, and that I missed them, he softened.

“I’ve had epiphany,” he started. “Women really do hold it all together.”

I think he was admitting to what he hadn’t known when he was married?

“So many people think they can do it all. But they can’t.”

I waited again. He was on a roll.

“I’m so lonely.” Now I was confused. Was he talking about tasks or emotions? Which ones do women do that “hold it all together”?

I thought about that conversation as I contemplated reverting to my old ways – list-making of tasks to get the things done around the house that I used to do all the time.

I felt a very dangerous (to me) thought creeping up, hoping to be believed:

I know I could do it all.

But where’s the fun, , the friendship, the support and the commraderie / relationship in that?

Some people can ‘do it all’. Maybe I can, too.

But I won’t.

It’s too lonely.

I like having someone have my back for when I lose my mental list of all that needs to get done; when I lose myself and the need to be nurtured, not just helped.

There’s a difference.

I don’t remember exactly how that conversation ended. It was only a few days ago. But I know that I was changed because of his humility and vulnerability with a new friend.


it’s what connects people.

Thank goodness! That’s all I have to say!


10 thoughts on “Why We Need Each Other

    • Maybe the tide is changing, Stan? Perhaps there really are men and women out there, more than this one I met, who are willing to admit that they need each other. I know so many people who sa to me in conversations that they are so happy alone, doing things their own way. It was / is refreshing to hear the opposite!

  1. Great and timely. I posted on a similar topic a week or so ago. Most of us (I’m betting you are one) are very willing to lend a hand, an ear, an encouraging word, etc. to other people but too many people are content in not allowing any reciprocity. We think “other people need help, but not me.” It really steams me when I find that a friend suffered all because they didn’t value our friendship enough to share their need. How about a little 2-way action here, huh? I’ve enjoyed reading your posts.

    • You’re funny, Dwayne! I don’t know if I would ever find out if I hadn’t been there for someone. I live in my own little bubble and do what I can when a need comes my way. You have to remember…I’m a girl. We talk! All the time! It’s rare that a day goes by without a call coming in or going out. What I did find rare about this conversation was the honesty my friend had with me, a relative stranger…a girl. There are days when I KNOW I hae nothing to offer. Even my listening ear is used up! LOL!

    • Blogging and social media in general teaches things like nothing else about relationships – reciprocity, boundaries, communication, service, etc. The lessons may be on a different scale, and may be more symbolic, but they are very applicable to relationships we have in our communities and families. I’ve learned more in three years about those things by blogging than I think I could have in any other way.

    • Jack is right. Having friends who hang out on social media makes life so much better. It is fun to watch a baseball game, but it is more fun to watch it with other Reds fans on Twitter.

      The nature of my life is that I spend almost every day alone working on my books. I sometimes go three or four days without seeing another person, but I’m always chatting with friends on FB, Twiiter, and G+. It makes me feel connected and allows me to also get my work done.

      • The life of a writer! We are all very blessed to live in a day when we can have two worlds to enjoy. Right? There’s something about the sound of the sports commentator’s voice that makes me want to run and hide! LOL! I’d much rather play than watch. But if I was tied to a chair and forced to watch, I’d be better off with friends…and food. 🙂

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