“The ineffable joy of forgiving and being forgiven forms an ecstasy that might well arouse the envy of the gods.” ~Elbert Hubbart
When I think of forgiveness I think of children. Young children. When their feelings are hurt, especially by a parent, they automatically run towards the offender, hungry for a hug and re-connection. They instinctively want to shift the energy and imbalance created by fear and anger back to love.
Then the veil of innocence gets thicker. They know too much, and become aware of other people and the hurt that can be inflicted in a way they hadn’t before.
The struggle to avoid pain shows up as a reluctance to re-connect until.
Until they are heard.
Until they are understood.
Until we feel the depth of their pain.
Until they feel safe.
Until they believe someone is really sorry.
Until they feel in control again.
But until never comes. It waits. And it spends our moments for us.
Until is like a doorknob to our hearts. We decide when to turn it and to experience love completely, with no strings of control or promises that hurt won’t show up again at our doorstep.
Forgiveness to me is like stepping back into life because it’s here to be lived now no matter what the risk. It has nothing to do with the other person. It has everything to do with the degree to which the world will be exposed to your radiance.
It really is simple and simply beautiful. Isn’t it? And that’s what some of us find so difficult.
Because we know too much. We think too much.
Our hearts want that hug- that re-connect, that smile and joy in the moment. But we might be addicted to hurt and don’t like the thought that it’s possible that we’ll never be understood. We want the depth of our pain and suffering to be felt by the world so that “it” won’t happen again.
But life is full of joy and pain, none of which is predictable unless and until we choose to live fully with that understanding. We will hurt and be hurt.
Maybe today we could be more like a child and notice how much better it feels to live and love than to close our hearts until….
“One forgives to the degree that one loves.” ~Francois de La Rochefoucauld
What If Today... 
What if forgiving “until” for never happening to our satisfaction is the key?
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I’m not sure I understand, Stan, but I think being a forgiving and compassionate person allows people to trust you more and to find their own way easier.Accepting what and who people are is, in a sense, forgiveness. Right?
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Beautiful quote by Elbert Hubbart and a nice explanation by you! I do believe to be able to forgive is a great virtue. That is how we unburden our mind.
Regards 🙂
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I found it amusing that we both chose quotes by him today! Thanks for coming by, Dilip. I’m not convinced that I explained my feelings well, but thank you. Forgiveness and the beauty and power of being forgiven is on my mind.
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Forgiveness can be hard, but after it is done, everyone feels better.
I liked the quote, too. Both of them, actually. Nicely done post, Betsy.
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Thanks, Brian. Yes, tis true, forgiveness feels great!
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Forgiving can be so hard, but I have found it was the only way to set myself free. Love your post!
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Carolyn, (secretly) I’m miffed at how easy it is to forgive and how stubborn I am! LOL! Thanks for coming over!
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I have no idea how you keep coming up with such great posts, one after another and they all touch me in some way when I need to think about something. or doing something about something.
You’re the Bestest, Betsy!
As Always ~*~
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Truth,Ann? In the middle of some nights I resolve to take down the blog tomorrow. But then I have an experience before I remmber to do it that causes me to reflect and learn. Then I share it and say , “Okay, maybe one more post. But that’s IT!” LOL!
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I think you were eloquent, Betsy. Beautifully said. Such radiance from you!! The whole world should feel the feelings that you provoke with your words.
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And you, my friend, are a fountain of living water for a parched soul! THANK YOU!!!!
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…And you really are. The Bestest of all the Best.
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That’s what happens when your name is Betsy…..it goes well with “best” so I’ve found.
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Wonderful post Betsy. Wow. I read a great book on this a long time ago. My fav quote; “Forgiveness is letting go of all hopes for a better past” so good to read your stuff. Thank you !
Al
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I love seeing you here, Al! Thank you for your kind words.
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Sigh. This is one of my biggest struggles. And I don’t even know what “until” I’ve been waiting for. Thanks for simplifying this and reframing it as “stepping back into life.” I am always seeking to be more childlike in mind and spirit.
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When I think of you, Samantha, I picture a smiling, happy woman. You radiate joy and an adventurous and wise spirit. I hope you’ll step through that very heavy door (of forgiveness for whatever, with whoever) because you are such a gift to the world. I haven’t even met you in person! And I haven’t even met you in person!!! Hopw Peru and marriage are treating you wonderfully!!
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